Marie Conte

Michelle’s Memorial to Grandma

Dear Grandma,

Christopher Reeves is quoted as saying,

“A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.”

You have been such an incredible example of strength for our family, a fighter in every sense of the word. You fought your diagnosis, you fought for your life, but most of all you fought for your family. You have shown us what a shining example of strength and dignity is and what it means to have a passion for family. You had so much love to give and no matter how many times you got knocked down your lively blue eyes radiated that love and passion. That love lives on in your loving husband, your 4 devoted children and their spouses, 7 grandchildren and 4 great grandchildren. You have built an amazing legacy of love and family. You will be forever loved, forever missed but never forgotten.

“Be strong, be fearless, be beautiful. And believe that anything is possible when you have the right people there to support you.”

Thank you for always being there to support us. I know you will continue to watch over us from above. We will always love you and cherish the countless memories we have made throughout the years.

Love Always,
Michelle

David’s Memorial to Grandma…
I don’t necessarily have one defining memory of my grandmother that I’d like to discuss. Frankly, any individual memory I share with you today would be underscored by the one thing that I will always remember her for, and that was her undying, undeniable passion for her family.
When I think about “memories,” particularly over the last decade, they have served as the proverbial emotional rollercoaster. It began with a date I will never forget; December 23, 2011. Two days before Christmas. Out to dinner with my dad and brother when a phone call interrupted everything and sent us to Stony Brook Hospital to say our “final” goodbyes to our grandma, my dad to his mom. What proceeded was the unthinkable. Grandma recovered, only after months in the hospital, and was able to go home, able to return to Grandpa and some semblance of a normal life.
Maybe this is where you’d think the story ends. But it doesn’t. Despite doctors telling us that she was in the terminal stages of her illness and had mere months left to live, grandma defied all odds. Months turned to years. Years to nearly a decade. Despite her physical health deteriorating, Grandma remained sharp as a tack. Her eyes became the window to her soul. Despite her difficulty communicating with us, you could always look into her eyes and know exactly what she was feeling and what she was trying to say. Christmas after Christmas, Easter after Easter, Birthday after Birthday, her eyes lit up like the brightest of Christmas lights and sparked a smile that could warm even the coldest of hearts.
There’s nobody I have ever known that has been so passionate about their family. Something about us coming together; I believe she lived for it. She fought for it. She fought for her children and she fought for her husband. She is what personifies will, determination and toughness. It also doesn’t hurt that she appreciated a good sense of style and was always the first in the family to notice my new sneakers, of which there’s been an abundance of over the years. Even during her final years, I can remember her sitting up in her chair, shooting me a smile and pointing to my sneakers. It may seem crazy, it may seem insignificant. Maybe it is. I’ve spent summer days there sleeping over grandma and grandpa’s with my brother and my cousin. I’ve celebrated a lot of momentous occasions with her, including the first birthday of her eldest GREAT grandchild. I’ve went into the city with her and played the role of the New York City tourists with her and the entire family.
There’s been a lot of “special” things that I’ve shared with my grandmother, but sometimes, in a world where I often feel unnoticed, it was the little things that meant the most. She was the only one beside my own mother to notice when I picked and pulled at the hair on my skin, which meant she saw and she cared that I didn’t hurt myself. And she was the first one to notice those sneakers.

God welcomed our mother on Saturday, May 2nd, into his home. Although this day marked the loss of our amazing mom, it also marked the celebration of our mother’s life.

Our mother, Marie Margaret Garone was born on October 20, 1935 to her beautiful parents, Carmela and Anthony Garone. She was blessed to have grown up with her sister, Angela. Mom became Marie Conte on November 28, 1953 when she married our wonderful father, Thomas. Mom and dad shared their lives together since mom was 16 years old. By the time our mom was 26, all four of us had been born!

We were blessed in having the most special childhood . Our mother was the epitome of mothers. She taught us the importance of family, forgiveness, acceptance, compassion, positivity and respect. She taught us how to love, and we knew we were loved beyond belief. Mom’s heart was as open as her front door. She was always willing to help anyone in need, without expecting anything in return. Her love was unconditional. 

Our mom, Marie, woke us up every Saturday morning singing the words, “Rise and Shine!”, as she would open our bedroom blinds. Saturday mornings were chore mornings. Even though we were each given a few chores, we never minded them because our mom would blast the music while singing and dancing throughout the house!

Sundays was a family day and would begin with the smell of sauce, which we called gravy, and our dad’s Mario Lanza music playing in the background. Mom would be cooking up a storm, and we would be getting ready for church. Church was very important to our mom, and to our dad as well. Our mom’s faith  is what made her the person that she was. Whenever anything went wrong in our lives, mom’s first response would be to say a prayer.

We all looked forward to that special day when mom would take one of us at a time out of school to spend time alone with her. We would be so excited to go out to eat, go to a movie, or go shopping. Even better, was when we were sick and mom would set us up in luxury on the couch with a snack table and bell to ring if we needed more than what she already had given us!

We were so very blessed to be raised by such an incredible woman. Although our mom had many interests, above all in her life, she put her family. She was devoted and selfless when it came to her family. Besides the dancing and singing that always went on in our home, mom loved to garden. She would go outside, get those hands dirty, and tend to her flowers and weeding! Mom was also an avid reader. In fact, she used to belong to book clubs.

Entertaining though was what she was best at! You always knew when we were going to have company because the dining room table would be set at least three days in advance with a sharply pressed tablecloth, China , stemware and fancy napkins! If it was a holiday, it was better if you hadn’t eaten all day! The courses would start, and there would be at least three, not including dessert! The table would be covered from end to end, and our mom would worry if she had cooked enough! Anyone that had eaten at our home more than once knew that if our mom asked if they wanted a little more, they were getting it whether they said no or not! Our mom was an extraordinary cook, although our favorite mom meals included her homemade pasta, spinach pies, pizza, rice balls, and rum cake.

As a family, we would often go to the city and see Broadway musical plays and attend shows at Radio City Music Hall. Mom and dad would also take us to Jones Beach and Westbury Music Fair to see the musicals performed there. Mom instilled in us the same passion she had for music. And we will never forget her walking down the stairs, kicking her legs while singing to Hello Dolly!

Life took a turn in 2006, when our mom was diagnosed with ALS. As the disease progressed, Mom fought harder and harder. Her perseverance in battling this disease stemmed from her faith and the love she had for her family. Mom was determined to be a part of her family’s lives, whether it be in every day life, or in celebrating special events. Her amazing determination based on her love for her family and her faith in God , gave our mom the strength to battle for 14 years. Even at the end of her battle, mom’s eyes spoke and her smile radiated, as it did throughout her life. Our mom’s life is one to be celebrated! Mom, we loved you then, we love you now, and we will love you forever.

With Forever Love and Gratitude,
Gary, Doreen, Thomas, and Andrea

My Grandma Marie,

What words can I use? Kind, generous, forgiving, family first, strong and an iron clad will. There are so many memories, from when she and grandpa baby sat me, taught me card games, great musicals, cooking, to the last 14 years of just pure will power to beat all odds.

The thing that stuck out most is the way grandma used to be strict and reasonable when teaching a lesson. She used bite her hand then calmly explain why you can’t or shouldn’t do that. she showed respect no matter what and that’s what she commanded. She was the epitome of FAMILY first. Once she hears one of us are sick or needs help, she was there before you know it. She showed us that no matter what, no matter how bad or good family sticks together. Here we are like Thanksgivings, Easter, Christmas, and every single birthday and special occasion sticking together like you taught us Grandma.

Grandma’s love and strength can be felt from the first days we met her to the very last. Her cooking no one can repeat because there was this overwhelming love that made it the best. Even though the best meat sauce was by grandpa. No matter what she made sure we had our fill of love and food, even when we didn’t want a second plate. None of us could resist Grandma giving us that plate and her favorite line “What? you don’t like my cooking?” haha Even during the last 14 years grandma will just look at you and you know you better take a second plate of food during the holidays. We all know what grandma was thinking these past few years by each of her looks. We know she had one last lesson to teach us, never back down and be with everyone every moment you get. Family, Friends, partners, etc. Because as long as you have that flow of love you can survive anything. When I heard how grandma finally left us and joined Nanny and Bobba. I knew she left on her terms, she left when she felt the most peace. This speaks volumes and you only meet this type of person once in a lifetime and I’m proud to say it was my grandma Marie, The Icon of the family, The jewel, the person that made us full of love to spread throughout and keep pumping between each other.

I love you Grandma, I miss you, and as all things I shall join you at some point but not anytime soon. Save some cooking for me in Heaven, I know you and Nanny will be cooking up a storm and singing for everyone.

I met Andrea and her wonderful family back when our daughters were in OLM together and in Girl Scouts. We even had the girls’ First Communion parties in adjoining rooms in the same restaurant! Even after Andrea moved back out East, we would visit. Her mother and father were so gracious and were like another set of grandparents to my daughter. We always enjoyed Marie’s Ronies and her sauce which was gravy in my dad’s family too. I don’t understand how one family could go through so much but Marie was a very strong woman and her family lived through her example. You are at peace now and I know you will continue to watch over your precious family.
Diane Hunter and family

My brother, Matthew, and I wrote this together to honor our beautiful grandmother.

Matthew and I had the privilege of living our childhood upstairs, or as we called it, “up the hill”, from our Grandparents. They were a part of our every day lives, so we had a difficult time narrowing down what specific memories to share. So, we decided to create a thank you list for you, Grandma.

– Thank you for putting us on and taking us off the school bus every day with a hug and kiss.
– Thank you for feeding us leftover Sunday pasta and meatballs complimented by a glass of grape juicy juice for breakfast before sending us off to school.
– Thank you for watching us countless nights so our mother could finish school to support us.
– Thank you for always looking out for mom, Matthew and I. When mom was too embarrassed to ask for help, you always took the initiative to sneak us upstairs and help clean our house. Then, when mom came from home from work and school, everything was already done.
– To build on that, thank you for teaching us the right way to make a bed and to clean the house according to your extremely high standards.
– Thank you for giving us a secret dinner before mom came home and fed us her dinner. This ultimately resulted in two dinners each night and therefore, contributing to, as Matthew would say, our child obesity days.
– Thank you for teaching us how to eat and enjoy more food in one sitting by not drinking anything, but a few sips, with our meals.
– Thank you for cooking us pastina and spinach, or whatever other food we were craving, when we were sick.
– Thank you for attempting to teach us how to cook your delicious recipes without no actual measurements, but by using words such as “a handful”, “a pinch”, or our favorite, “I guess you can quickly count to about 5 before you stop pouring”.
– Thank you for being so patient with us as you started our homework before mom came home. For those of you that don’t know, my brother would run away from the table screaming during this time and I would erase my paper so hard until they were holes in it and then cry for more paper. During this chaos, our Grandma would just sit there with a smile, laugh, and tell us to keep trying, all while correcting our grammatical errors.
– Thank you for instilling our faith and teaching us how to be a follower of God.
– Thank you for teaching us the value of family through your countless actions of always putting family as your first priority.
– Thank you showing us that love doesn’t always have to be physically or verbally expressed, but it can be felt solely through eye contact.
– Thank you always putting on a smile to give us the assurance that you were are okay, even if you weren’t.
– Thank you for raising the beautiful woman we are lucky enough to call our mother.

The truth is that we can continue this list forever because we are eternally grateful for all that you were, for all our memories with you, and for all that you’ve taught us. But most importantly, we thank you for loving us as your other two children.

We will miss you more than words could describe, but we will hold these memories of you in our hearts forever and instill the values you’ve taught us in our own children. May you Rest In Peace as the angel you were to us here on Earth. We love you so very much, Grandma.

Love Always and Forever,
Matthew & Allyse